ICSGCT 2009: Sleep Please?

I can't sleep, as much as I desperately try. It's hard to adequately
describe the predicament in which I am presently ensconced. It's all
corners - everywhere there's some angle that juts into my body
providing just enough pain to deny my unconsciousness. I've tried just
about every position I can conceive of but am attempting to avoid
future chiropractic de-pretzeling so I've been trying minimize the
contortioning.

I feel like those NASA folks in Apollo 13, tasked with making a square
filter fit a round hole. I'm using all the tools at my disposal to
try and soften the edges. At present I have two shoes, a spare shirt,
several napkins, a roll of garbage bags and 500 rubber sporting balls
at my disposal. So far, no luck. And yes, I've contemplated 'the ball
room' but don't think I could take the smell.

My work has been interrupted though by the boys up front, who recently
discovered that their feet are soaking wet, despite any appreciable
source of liquid. The current theory is that the air conditioner is
condensing into the car and onto the front rugs - I've posited instead
that we are actually slowly sinking into a lake but are all
hallucinating via some tainted Arby's Roast Beef we grabbed for
dinner. In any case, Jamie is now calmly attempting to dry his socks
by holding then out the window, which is flapping wildly against the
back window and sounds like a hailstorm.

I doubt I'll be sleeping anytime soon.